


In Jesus' Name

by gaylinda_of_the_upper_uplands



Category: In the Heights - Miranda/Hudes
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylinda_of_the_upper_uplands/pseuds/gaylinda_of_the_upper_uplands
Summary: “Jesus hates me.” Her crying slowed after she said it, as if it had let a lot of pressure off of her to admit her thoughts out loud.“I though Jesus loves everyone?”“But I’m a sinner.”“You? A sinner?” Carla nodded her head, her lips trembling. “What makes you think that?”“I love you.”
Relationships: Carla/Daniela (In the Heights)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	In Jesus' Name

“As we come to the end of today’s service, I would like to share with you all an anonymous message our church received a few days ago.” Carla’s breath hitched as the priest spoke, and she was glad that there was no-one immediately next to her. She was sure her heart was pounding out of her chest. It thudded too strongly; a faint wooshing noise in her ears as she struggled to concentrate on his words. “Somewhere out there, perhaps even in our mass today, there is a young person struggling with feelings of the deviant variety.” A faint murmur sounded, and Carla held her breath, her chest constricting.

“A young person attracted to those of their own sex.” There was a dramatic pause, the priest looking throughout the room. “We pray this young person finds peace with our Lord, and begs forgiveness. Repent your sins and the Lord will respond only with kindness. These times are trying, but the Lord will help; and the Church is here for you on your journey to becoming a better person. Let us pray for this child of God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” A faint ‘amen’ spread through the room, though Carla, with her dry mouth and gasping breaths, did not join them. She stayed a moment longer than usual as the people began to disperse. With a deep breath, she picked herself up on shaky legs and continued on her day.

She made her way to the salon slowly, thoughts rushing. It took her a moment after she’d opened the door to even comprehend what Daniela had asked her.

“How was church?” Carla stood still, staring at her blankly for a few seconds, watching as Daniela’s eyebrows furrowed and she put down the cape she was holding. “Carla?” At the sound of her name, she burst into sobs, loud and choking. Everyone inside turned to look at her. Daniela immediately embraced her, gesturing for Vanessa to keep the customers occupied. “Let’s go out the back, yeah?” Carla nodded her head into Daniela’s shoulder. Daniela wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her to the back room and sitting down with her on the couch. “What happened, mi amor?” she asked with caution, rubbing Carla’s back as she hiccupped and struggled to breathe. The question only seemed to make Carla cry more. Daniela pulled her into her arms where Carla collapsed against her shoulder in utter exhaustion. “Talk to me, Carlita.” She shook her head, but spoke after a moment, voice shaky and quiet.

“Jesus hates me.” Her crying slowed after she said it, as if it had let a lot of pressure off of her to admit her thoughts out loud. Daniela frowned at the statement, pushing Carla back to look her in the eye.

“I though Jesus loves everyone?” Daniela herself was atheist, but knew how much Carla’s religion influenced her. She’d never heard her talk so negatively about herself.

“But I’m a sinner.”

Daniela let out a soft chuckle. “You? A sinner?” Carla nodded her head, her lips trembling. “What makes you think that?”

“I love you.” Daniela frowned at the perceived change of topic, but responded immediately.

“I love you too?” Confused, Daniela watched as Carla burst into tears again, pathetically wiping at her eyes in an attempt to stop them soaking into her shirt. She shook her head, speaking again after a moment.

“No. I _love_ you, Dani. The type of love I’m not supposed to.” The way she said it was so defeated, it made Daniela’s heart ache. It was clear she had been thinking about it for a very long time.

“Is that so wrong?”

“It’s a sin.”

“Carla, are all people children of God?” Carla nodded her head, not sure where Daniela was going. “And how do you feel when you’re with me?”

“Happy.” Carla blushed as Daniela took her hand, averting her eye contact.

“If God created you to be this way, and it doesn’t feel wrong, how is it a sin?” Carla shook her head.

“But my church says—”

“Do you know why they say that? They want to make people scared. They want to hurt people. Is that how you feel now?”

“Yes,” Carla admitted, her voice a mere whisper.

“Don’t let people’s fear of love hurt you, Carla. You’re perfect the way you are. I love you the way you are. I don’t ever want you to feel bad about that.”

“You love me?” Her voice was weak as she finally looked up at Daniela.

“Yes,” Daniela whispered. “I do.” Smiling brightly, Carla leant closer to Daniela, kissing her deeply. Daniela pulled her onto her lap, holding onto her hips as Carla’s hands linked behind her neck. It wasn’t long before the door was flung open, banging against the wall.

“Oh my god, ew!” Vanessa shouted in shock, her face screwing up in disgust as she entered the room. Carla burst into tears again, startling the girl even more. “What the fuck?” Glaring at the teen, Daniela pulled Carla closer, holding her shaking body against her chest and stroking her hair. “Uh, I’m sorry?” Vanessa attempted to apologise, though she wasn’t really sure what she’d done. “It’s just kinda weird. And gross.”

“Not helping, Vanessa.” Daniela said as Carla broke down even more, now whimpering. “Think about what you said.”

“Oh. Um… I’m sorry, Carla. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“And what did you mean it as?” Daniela prompted, giving her a pointed look.

“Well, I…. uh,” she started, feeling incredibly uncomfortable as Daniela and Carla stared at her. “Because you’re like my mom,” she said slowly, as if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to. “But Carla’s my friend. And I wasn’t expecting to see you like… that.” Daniela gave her a smile, nodding her head in approval at the apology.

“I’ll be out in a minute, mija.” Vanessa nodded, quickly leaving the room.

“Sorry for overreacting,” Carla said after a moment, her voice hoarse.

“Don’t apologise. You’ve been through a lot today. You can stay back here, okay? I’ll go see what Vanessa wants.”

“Okay.”

“Te amo,” Daniela whispered, kissing Carla again.

“Te amo,” Carla echoed.


End file.
